“She Waters Things”

It has been years since I have fretted about what to get my wife for Valentine’s Day, Easter, Mother’s Day, our anniversary, her birthday, Thanksgiving or Christmas. She cherishes my love letters above all other gifts. More than flowers, or jewelry, or chocolate, or the authentic RAMS shirt with her name on the back from the NFL Shop. She especially appreciates that it does not cost anything — beyond my many hours of attention and affection — because this banker’s daughter loves to balance the checkbook and has the thrifty nature of her Scottish ancestors, the clan McBain. Our routine is thus: on each occasion she opens the envelope and reads the letter to herself. Then she hands it back to me, to read it out loud to her, and to anyone else who is part of the celebration, like a birthday party. You can count on tears; they are part of the gift, part of the letter, part of her nature. She has given me permission. Here is one of her favorites.

Love Letter to Liza: “She Waters Things”

In my office, at the keyboard, looking out the window.  It is a terrific view, our yard.  The hibiscus is in flower, the liquid amber stretches to the sky, throwing shade over everything late in the day.  The bougainvillea reaches out over the shoulder of that small citrus tree that is offering up its annual gift of fifteen oranges, and our old and dependable lemon tree – espaliered across the back wall – is heavy with fruit and ready for the picking.  It is our third or fourth crop this year, an abundance we and our neighbors have enjoyed for many seasons. 

Much time and attention has gone into this garden of ours, mainly by your hand; and there you are, in your tartan shirt, sleeves rolled up to your elbows, jeans, muddy shoes, floppy hat, wielding the magic watering wand, now to the grapefruit, now to the gazanias, now to the potted plants on the patio.  You will ask me to finish the watering, to give the roses and the privet a good soaking; the very least I can do, my contribution to the care and feeding of our lovely oasis. 

Most of my jobs come at the beginning of things: digging, laying sprinkler lines, bricks and borders, plotting and planting.  Yet like so many areas of our garden and our lives; you are the finisher, the caregiver, the pruner, the one who keeps things going, the one who remembers to feed and medicate and water our plants… and me.

You medicate me by counting out my pills each week; you have always loved sorting activities. You have faithfully chronicled every appointment, every blood draw, every prescription, every co-pay and every setback in my cancer book.  You remind me to take my morning cocktail and bring the half-banana.  You know when my tank is running low; because just at the right moment, you appear with a glass of water.

You are a gift from God, Liza; and when I pause to give thanks, there are so many names, titles and metaphors to call upon the Lord — like Yahweh, Adonai, Jehovah, Jesus, King, Lamb, Strong Tower, Rose of Sharon, Savior, Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace. 

But today my gratefulness for you compels me to call Him Living Water.    

After all these years, I am still crazy about you.    

Love, Me

“Squeak-Squeak-Squeak”

Over the course of my career in public and private education I saw thousands of games; because when you are a school administrator it is de rigueur to show up to provide supervision, schmooze the parents and support the athletes.  I have watched frosh, soph, JV and varsity contests in fall, winter and spring, both men’s and women’s teams, from the pre-seasons to the playoffs, observing the cheers and tears that go with high school sports.  Plus, I have neglected my wife plenty by watching the NFL, The Dodgers, The Masters, College Gameday and every minute of every match of the Canadian Women’s Winter Olympics Curling Team; and I was in attendance at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum on May the 7th 1959, high up beyond the left field fence, when 93,000 people lit up their matches and lighters to salute the Hall of Fame Dodger catcher, Roy Campanella.  

Yet my number one sports highlight did not take place in a stadium, arena, gymnasium, field or golf course, but in a modest apartment in the San Fernando Valley.  My brothers and I were there, thanks to the winning bid at a charity auction for “Lunch with The Wizard of Westwood.”

After lunch at Coach’s favorite haunt, we returned to his apartment, hoping to hear some hoop stories and perhaps some scoop on notorious coaches; but before we got started there was a knock on the door.  Bill Walton dropped by for a visit with his cherished coach, and he is just one of a stream of UCLA players who have continuously showed up to honor the man who led them to ten NCAA championships, and more importantly, taught them how to live off the court and after basketball.

Coach deflected the conversation away from hoops, preferring to talk about his devotion to faith and family.  Oh, the joy on his face when he showed us the present from his great-granddaughter, given to him on his 89th birthday just two months before. 

The coach signed one of his books, which I had had picked up that morning at the local Borders, and which I took that evening as a gift to my young friend Dave.  Sitting by his bedside, I read to him deep into the night; although I am not sure how much he took in.  He had been sent home just two days before with hospice care and a morphine pump and passed away two weeks later at the age of 36. 

A dedicated teacher and a total gym rat, Dave was an acolyte of his coaching idol and steady practitioner of the “Pyramid of Success” on and off the court.  Months later Dave’s parents gave that very book back to me — a priceless gift and a memory of two extraordinary men of my acquaintance.  

Whenever I hear the “squeak-squeak-squeak” of sneakers on a gym floor, it reminds me of my bygone friend, taken too soon, and what is written on the title page of the book:

For Coach Dave Marshall with the best wishes of another ex teacher/coach. John Wooden 1 Cor. 13

Notes:

-The title of the book is…

Wooden: A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections On and Off the Court 

-There was a breath-catching moment of poignancy while reading the book to Dave.  There are six introductory letters from sports glitterati, and to me, the most eloquent elegy of all was written by Bill Walton.

-An abbreviated version of this story appeared in the Los Angeles Times on Monday, November 18th of last year.  Houston Mitchell, sportswriter, invited readers to send in their favorite sports moments to be published in his column.  Frankly, it was electrifying to see it in print, and was a big impetus for me to start this blog.    

-Roy Campanella was the all-star catcher for the Dodgers from 1948 through 1957, their last year in Brooklyn.  In January of 1958 he sustained a tragic injury which confined him to a wheelchair for the rest of his life, and his paralysis prevented him from ever playing for the Dodgers in L.A.  Widely regarded as one of the finest catchers in baseball history, he is enshrined in the Baseball Hall of Fame.